Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Randomize
