I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can't just leave with hair like that
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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