oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
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