Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Randomize
