so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
So much rum. So many feels.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
Randomize