The maid of honor just puked.
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
lol hangovers are for mortals.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP ππππ
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