Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
Randomize
