If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
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