Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
Randomize
