All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
Randomize
