Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
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