I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
