And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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