She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
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