Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
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