Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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