Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
I am spending my child support on dildos
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
