Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
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