the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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