I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Randomize
