Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize