Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
