Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
