Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
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