So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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