non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Randomize
