Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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