he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
