This is not my ceiling
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize