Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
