booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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