oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
