so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
