If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
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My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
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If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
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