Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
