so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
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