i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
Randomize
