That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
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