You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
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