why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
