yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
