i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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