Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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