I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
