We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Randomize