would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
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