every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
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