i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Randomize
