I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Randomize
