just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
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