I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
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During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
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cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Randomize