In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
Randomize
