We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Randomize
