Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
I am midnight drunk by noon
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so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
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WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
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