Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
only you would photoshop your dick
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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