i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
Randomize
