just tell him i said nine months
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
Randomize
