there's paper in my vomit.
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
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