Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Randomize
